Monday, December 28, 2009

Play It Back

My immediate goals:

1. learn how to play a keyboard

2. attend a rave and dancedance


For now, the top songs on my playlist:

1. Foundations (metronomy remix)- Kate Nash
2. Uh-Huh- Munchousen By Proxy
3. Mouthwash (Hot Chip Remix)- Kate Nash
4. You Say He's Just a Friend- Alvin & the Chipmunks
5. Stillness is the Move- The Dirty Projectors
6. Bus Stop Boxer- Eels
7. Zero- The Yeah Yeah Yeahs
8. Electricity- Von Iva
9. Laughing With- Regina Spektor
10. Us- Regina Spektor
11. Why Do You Let Me Stay Here- She&Him

I could keep going, but chances are I'll be listening to something different within the next two weeks.

Wednesday, December 16, 2009

Big Pimpin

It's official. Megan and I are collaborating on a book idea. Thank you Dr. McMahon for the wonderful idea. I'm thinking about turning this idea into a blog. If the blog catches on, maybe people will submit their stuff and it can go into our book. I'm not sure how that works, but since its just an idea right now I'll worry about it later.

Tonight, we watched Inglourious Basterds.

Next week, we will probably analyze the language/subtitles and traditional film techniques in the movie. Because it's interesting. And I have no job.

Tomorrow though, is Application Thursday. I'm sure filling out job apps is a lot more fun than it sounds.

I will also probably look up material on grad schools. Again, because I have no job.

On another note, I vote that next year for Christmas, we all go out and buy ourselves gifts. If we choose, we can wrap them and open them in front of friends/family. Everybody will (or should) be happy with their gifts. That way, there is no guess work involved and I won't have to wander aimlessly around stores searching for something my friends want. This is a good idea.

Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Where Da Hood At

Tomorrow, I am taking my mother's GPS and going Christmas Shopping. I'm not a fan of Christmas shopping (I like giving, but I don't like to guess at what to give).
But, this GPS and I are going to become fast friends. I have no idea where I'm shopping. I just plan on picking somewhere random (not too random, it'll be somewhere in midwest city) and finding my own way, or the way of the GPS, to some overcrowded shopping center.
It probably sounds like a horrible idea, but I think it would be fun to drive to some strange city and get completely lost, JUST to use the GPS to get back. Maybe I'd learn some of the roads and wouldn't need a map anymore, which would be the main goal. Maybe I'd forget all the roads and have a great time observing and checking out the sights, which I would settle for. Maybe I'd get so lost, I'd never find my way back, which I would also settle for.

Tuesday, December 8, 2009

I Know

I should be doing my homework.

Instead, I'm rewriting Owl City's "Fireflies" song.

Its going to be about how ECU makes fake degrees.

I think my version will be called "To My Surprise."

It's fun. Much more entertaining than Political Parties.

In other news, I have two finals, no work tomorrow. Close (or close).

Friday, November 27, 2009

Hacksaw Win.

I'm having Thanksgiving at my friend Sarah's house today. This morning we went to Wal-Mart so she could get a good deal on a Cricut. I went as back up and threw some elbows around. It was fun, mostly because I was delirous from lack of sleep.

After our nap, Sarah decides she wants to put the turkey (we named him Chuck) in the oven. Problem: we can't get the legs out of the metal clamp thingy. We pushed, we pulled, we memorized the directions (and tried to follow them), but were very unsuccessful. Finally Sarah, in all her creativity, pulled out a small hacksaw. Thats right. I kept Chuck from squirming and Sarah sawed away. Little bits of the metal dropped on to Chuck, but she washed it off. I've just made a mental note to stay away from that half of the turkey.

Maybe next year, we can retire the hacksaw. Or just buy the turkey pre-made.

Friday, November 20, 2009

Oh Yes I Did.

After the conference, we stopped at a circus cemetary in Hugo on our way back. It was wierd...And cool. Except for the part where something fell out of a tree, landed on my face and bit my chin. Yes, I got stung/bit by some unknown insect. And then I got chased by bees (or something else that buzzes). I think there was a spirit out to get me. Probably because I was stomping on her headstone. I didn't mean to though. I was reading it and a creepy spider crawled across it. Instincts kicked in and after about the 3rd stomp, my friends were asking what the hell I was doing. By the time we left, my swollen chin and I had aquired a disdain for pine trees and cob-webbed headstones.

On our way back from Hugo, we thought of what disease and dessert we would be. I decided I'd be alzheimers and...something chocolate.

Oh No You Didn't.

I went to a conference in Arkansas last weekend. On the way there my group started a whole "thats what she/he said" kick. When we got to the conference, we decided to take notes that pertained to "thats what she said." It kept us entertained. The keynote speaker talked about Shakespeare, which generated many good notes. Aaand here they are:

1. The interaction that exists between studens and teachers...
2. Without furher adieu..
3. Enter the King
4. Richardson asks him to literally get up.
5. This is a very typical patch
6. ...is one of the biggest challenges she faces.
7. We live in a visual world, where children are educated through the "eyes."
8. "riding" was unstable.
9. Allow me one slight digression..
10. It is not a general ornament, but a social affirmation of his humanity.
11. Needless to say, it is a rather large assembly.
12. I did consent.
13. It moves effortlessly.
14. His forward movement is insistent.
15. ...what we might call today firmly rounded.
16. It proceeds from nature rather than art.
17. Here's a brief sample.
18. Where's satisfaction? It is impossible you should see this!
19. Quite simply put, he begins to sound like God.
20. He shouts out "goats and monkeys!"
21. ...quite literally in this case to rise to the level of his crown.
22. He begins to lose the ability to express himself in complete or coherent sentences.
23. You might become quite surprised.
24. NOW you understand whats happening.
25. ..you get that rhythm, you start the engine.
26. It's simply a matter of doing it- practice, practice, practice!
27. Everybody wants to be original.
28. When you see a student "getting it"
29. Most of us are not gonna have a big impact.
30. (this one was a question, which came from a member of the audience)- Can you give us one of those? One of those "Wow" moments?

There were a few more from other presenters at the conference, including "to come with a well informed mind" and "the man is supposed to provide support for the woman," but I can always post those at a later date. I dont want to overload you...thats what she said.

Friday, November 13, 2009

I Am Them

Woman Calls the Cops On… Herself

Clark County, Wisconsin - 911 dispatchers often get calls from people observing an impaired driver on the road. What makes the call Mary Strey made unique, is that she called 911 on herself.

"Somebody's really drunk driving down Granton Road," she told the 911 dispatcher.

The dispatcher asked if the Strey was behind the drunk driver, to which she replied "No, I am them."

The dispatcher asked, "Okay, so you're calling to report you're driving drunk?"

"Yes," Strey said.

The dispatcher told Strey to pull her vehicle over, and she complied. She waited for a deputy to arrive with her hazard lights flashing. According to the police report, Strey failed field sobriety tests, and a preliminary breath test showed she had a blood alcohol content of .19, more than twice the legal limit to drive.

She was given a citation for operating a vehicle with a prohibited alcohol content of .10 or more. She's due in court in December, facing charges of first offense operating under the influence.

(http://www.channel10.com/news/national/story.aspx?storyid=116662&catid=81)

Wednesday, November 11, 2009

Ain't Got know Job But I'm Still Flyyyyyy

One of my friends asked me who I was. Wrong. He got this. And more.

I consider myself a younger version of Chelsea Handler. Minus the Jew. You'd think it would be difficult, not being a Jew and calling people Hitler or Nazi. But I think I have a distinct advantage over other Non-Jews who wish to make funny, slightly racist comments about hitler and his regime: I live in Oklahoma. Uneducated Rednecks are generally understanding of derogatory comments about genocide leaders, despite their ability to become a back-handed offense to the people who were murdered. These Uneducated Rednecks are also understanding of our latest president George W. Bush, and even find his inability to say the word "nuclear" endearing. I've never thought the mispronunciation of words was cute. Maybe funny and sad. I was 8 when I found out that my little sister couldn't say the word "yellow," but had no qualms babbling on about her doll's "lellow" dress. I immediately transformed into a tyrannical speech therapist, but gave up after concluding that she was "special" and most likely adopted. By the following week, she still couldnt say the word and I was convinced she was retarded, or at the very least, autistic.

Lately I've been planning on becoming a drug lord. However, I'm horrible at planning and I fear my only hope of achieving this illegal lifestyle is to work for my uncle. He's not exactly the high rollin dealer I'd like to pimp out crack for, but he's notorious in my family for his drunken schemes and pill addictions. Surely hes got some connections for me. Plus, I'm pretty sure he used to bein a gang. Bonus.

Tuesday, November 10, 2009

Friday, November 6, 2009

Tryna Catch Me Writin Nerdy

Doing homework. Making coffee. Checking list. And repeating.

Welcome to Friday Night Nerd Fright. Should've had it on Halloween. Damn.

In spirit of the night, I leave you with:

Thursday, November 5, 2009

Rap it up

Literati had a poetry reading tonight. It was awesome. I teared up several times because I was doing such a good job at holding back my laughter.

"I cannot help being what I am, half wolf, half man."

I'm about to go watch another reading.

Blogged on College Lately today.

And had my Carl Sagan Fix.

Wednesday, November 4, 2009

Doo Wop That Thang

My day started with my car getting (another) flat tire. But wound up getting better when Hope texted to tell me she's coming to ada to visit. I still haven't found a decent thug name for her (I think we decided on something with the word "Booty" in it, which reminds me more of a pirate than a hardened criminal).

My mother sent me an email today for a job opening in Virginia for Homeland Security. Maybe, if I do well guarding my dad's house this week, he will write me a recommendation letter. I can only hope.

I'm doing pretty good this week at talking about all of my assignments, even discussing in detail the ideas I have for them, but then taking absolutely no action to write anything. On the plus side, I have done research. But then I get so tired of clicking "print" that actually typing become an unrealistic concept for me. Also, for this blog, it is difficult enough to post everyday. So transitions between ideas become low on my priority list.

Tonight I think I'm going to vintage to have a drink. I thought about running or even taking a bat and beating the shit out of a tree. A drink sounds like a good alternative to both of these.

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Security.

So I have to house/dog sit for my dad starting Thursday. Upside: A house to myself. Downside: A house far, far away from town.

I'm at my dad's house right now, avoiding homework and watching V. I always forget how paranoid he is. Example: I told him I should blog tonight. He asks why. I tell him. And now he is suspicious of Murphy. Which I find funny, mostly because I agree. People who don't eat fries aren't to be trusted.

Topic Change: I was supposed to start watching Freaks and Geeks with Levi this week. Fail.

Monday, November 2, 2009

Grandmaster Dash in the Furious 5 (weeks)

Things that annoy me:
-When my little sister needs help with English or college in general ands asks my mom for help, who in turn asks me. Because clearly, I dont have enough going on.
-When clients flag me down, like I'm a waitress who forgot their tap water.
-When I'm trying to do homework at home and my mother feels the need to interrupt me every 10.2 seconds.
-My car breaking down.
-September. And more recently, October. November may soon be added to this list. If it does, I may just sum it up as Fall 2009.
-Idiots.

Things I like:
-Learning NEW things, not things which are useless or obvious.
-The fact that there is a masters program in Amsterdam for RAP: Rhetoric, Argumentation Theory and Philosophy.
-When I am motivated. It doesnt happen very often, but when it does, it rocks my world.
-My friends and (mostly) my family.
-The "classics" book section at Hastings. Everytime I get there, it feels like Christmas. I have to refrain from buying things b/c I fear I'll be the cranky old cat lady with 2 copies of every book.
-The fact that school is over in about 5 weeks. Success.

Sunday, November 1, 2009

Real Muthahpumkin G's

For Halloween I was a cheerleader. More specifically, I was my sister. It was horrifying. I ended up at KB's and Jenny's house, joining in singalongs about going to hell and low assholes. Mostly we sang these songs to scare people away from the party (which was pretty much everyone who wasn't wearing a homemade costume). The party turned into more of a techno-rave, which is always a bonus. Mainly because I can dance to it.

As far as school goes...

Revise 2 papers, write 4,
re-do my resume,
pay my graduation fee,
Continue working on The Art of Mediocrity project with Jenny,
A few more tests
and BAM. I'm a big girl.

I've also been thinking about starting a youtube account called Dear Chelsea, Please Hire Me.

Wednesday, October 14, 2009

Thursday, October 8, 2009

Thug Life Makes You Wanna JUMP JUMP!

It is done. This little light of mine about Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

These lil chains of mine
I'm gonna let 'em bind
These lil chains of mine
I'm gonna let 'em bind
These lil chains of mine
I'm gonna let 'em bind
Let 'em bind
Let 'em bind
Let 'em bind

Dancing shadows on the wall? No!
I'm gonna free my mind
Dancing shadows on the wall? No!
I'm gonna free my mind
Dancing shadows on the wall? No!
I'm gonna free my mind
Free my mind
Free my mind
Free my mind

Go out the cave into the light
I'm gonna use my sight
Go out the cave into the light
I'm gonna use my sight
Go out the cave into the light
I'm gonna use my sight
Use my sight
Use my sight
Use my sight

Wednesday, September 30, 2009

Yo momma taught me betta than that.

Work was slow. And instead of revising a paper (over genius, aesthetics, and other philosophy junk), I wrote songs about them. They may sound familiar. Enjoy.

Genius loves me, this I know, For dead people tell me so.
Artistic ones to it belong. They are rare, but not for long.
Yeeeees Genius loves me
Yeeeees Genius loves me
Yeeeees Genius loves me
Dead people tell me so.


The E-L-I-T-E, the E-L-I-T-E, I stand alone on the work of Kant, the E-L-I-T-E.



I like the A-E, I like the A-E-S-T-H-E-T-I-C. I have G-E-N-I-U-S in my H-E-A-R-T and H-A-T-E art H-I-E-R-A-R-C-H-Y.



Genius loves the little children, All the children of the woooorld.
Red and yellow, Black and white (what the fuck, these colors bite).
Genius loves the little children of the world.


Currently in the works: This little light of mine. About Plato's Allegory of the Cave.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Throw Ya Hands In da Aya, If Yousa True Playa

Yesterday my mom was making a facebook comment. She called me into the office b/c she wanted my help being witty.

Question: Can I get paid for this?

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Tuesday, September 8, 2009

Even White Girls Gotta Shout.

So my homegirl Hope currently has a job where she gets to travel. A lot.

But the job only lasts for a year.

I told her the other day that my post-grad plans were to sell Coke and become a hard rollin drug lord. I also told her she was welcome to join my soon-to-be thug lyfe.

Problem: I refuse to be in this business with someone whose name reminds me of rainbows and butterflies. I can't give her a gun with a name like that.

So, I need your input. Whats a gangstalicious codename for Hope?

Labor Day Weekend

I spend my 3 day weekend watching:

1. An affair to remember
2. The way we were
3. The purple rose of cairo
4. Dirty dancing
5. All about steve
6. Overboard
7. Runaway Bride
8. The OSU game
9. The first season of Weeds.
10. Nim's Island
11. Hook

I think thats all...

Saturday, September 5, 2009

Do YOU know what Creeping looks like?

At work the other day I made a Creeper Mask. The dude I drew doesnt look like any of my creepers, but he definitely looks like A creeper. He's got a comb-over that just doesnt quite make it, sunglasses with lightning bolts in the middle of them, and a stache that would make Cowger proud. I'm thinking about taking the mask to CIRCAW. They could pass it around while they give the "if a man like this lingers eeerily behind you" speech. Or they could do a skit. I vote skit.